May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss - Contest 1

This is an official entry into the most awaited contest of all times. Find more details here:

GreatBong

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Details of the contest are as follows:

The rules.
1. On your blog, provide a link to this page. (http://greatbong.net/book). Embedding the above picture in your blog would be nice but not needed.
2. Then write down your top 10 Hindi movie lines or top 10 English movie lines (You can do both if you want. Only one set is required for the contest). If you cannot think of top 10, make it top 5. Cannot think of even 5? Make it top 3. No problem. Only restriction: no two lines from same movie. This done to make it fair for other movies so that they dont get swamped by Gunda or Loha or Sholay.
3. Tag five friends to do the same.
4. Come over to the comment-space of this post and post your blog’s link so I can go and read it.
Remember: Before starting the tag, paste points 1 and 4 on your blog so that the rules are available to anyone who wishes to pick the tag up from your blog.

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And here are my favourite dia/mono-logues from the Indian silver screen.

Warning: Long Post.

10. Mohabbatein

Raj Aryan: Hawaon ne apna Rukh Ek bar phir Badal diya hai
(Buwahahahahahahahahaha...)

9. Sarkaar

Silver Mani: ye Sarkhaar hai, khoi bacchon ka khel nae... Ae tu ghu-ghu-ghoor mat !!

8. Mr. India

Mogambo: Mr. India? Mr. Indiaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha Mr. ha ha ha ha ha INDIA ha ha ha ha...

Dr. : Magar Mr. Mogambo, agar aapne India ko tabah kar diya to Mr. India bhi tabah ho jaega aur isi ke saath wo formula...

Mogambo: Dr. Fumanchu...Tum Bevakoof ho.

7. Haasil

Gauri Shankar: Aur Suno, Rannbijay Singh, aaj ke baad Innbhersity mein agar Picchdon ka jhanda uthaya...

Rannvijay: Toh????

Gauri Shankar: Hain??

Rannvijay: Toh Kya hui babusahab?

Gauri Shankar: Toh kam kar diye jaoge. 2 minute ka maun hoga tohri yaad mein, tohri party ke 2-3 launde aake gana-baana gaa denge...ki 'chalte chalte mere geet yaad rakhna' Aur kaa hoga be? Aur kaa hoga? National holiday hoga kaa Tohri Yaad mein?

(Just one of many gems given by Ashutosh Rana in this movie.)

6. Gulaal

Duki Banna: Aur ye, ye apne bete ko Vilaayat bhej rahe hain...padhne ke liye...Jack and Jill went up the Hill to fetch a b********.

5. DCH

Shalini: Rohit, tum apne doston ke saamne mujh par chilla rahe ho?

(Rocking stuff...used this for days together.)

4. Sarfarosh

ACP Rathod: Kyaa Thakur tereko itni baar bulaya tu aata nahi hai?

Thakur: Kaun hai tu?

ACP Rathod: Pehchana nahi?? ACP Rathod...Chal uth..chal chal uth.

(Again, tremendously used when seeing someone after a long time.)

3. Sholay

Jai: Pistaul Jail mein aa chuki hai...

Veeru: KYAA? Pistaul jail mein aa chuki hai?

2. Swades

Melaram: Saar, Saar, Hum aapke liye break-phaast laya hun.

1. Andaz Apna Apna

Bajaj: Main Teja hun kyunki mera naam bhi Teja hai.

Teja: Abey Sudhar Ja Safed Ramu, Main teja hun yaar.

Bajaj: Teja Main Hun, Mark Idhar Hai !!!

Gogo: Chuppp !!

Bajaj: Main teja hun...

Gogo: Ye Teja-Teja Kya hai, Ye Teja-Teja.

(Laugh out loud everytime, irrespective of where I am.)

And now some Haalywood (not in any order):

1. The Godfather

Michael Corleone: What I want, what's most important to me...is my Father to be safe.

(A dialogue incidentally repeated by George Clooney TO Al Pacino in Ocean's 13.

2. Schindler's List

Oskar: This ring, 2 people...this car, 5 people....I couldn't do enough...I couldn't do enough...

3. 300

Leonidus: You bring the skulls of dead kings to MY city steps...you threaten my people with slavery and death...you insult my Queen. Oh I've chosen my words carefully Persian, perhaps you should have done the same.

4. Notting Hill

William: It was sort of sweet actually - I mean, I know she's an actress and all that, so she can deliver a line...but she said that she might be as famous as can be....but also... that she was just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.........Oh, sod a dog. I've made the wrong decision, haven't I?

5. Snatch

a.

Brick-Top: Pull your head out of your arse ol'Gary. Dogs do that... you're not a Dog are ya Gary?

Gary: Nah..Na i'm not Guv'na.

Brick-Top: However, you do have all the qualities of a Dog Gary, All except loyalty.

b.

Brick-Top: In the silent words of the Virgin Mary, Come again?

c.

Associate: London?

Cousin Avi: Yes London...you know Fish-chips, Cup-o-tea, Bad food, Worse weather, Mary-Fuckin-Poppins..LONDON !!

6. Jerry Maguire

a.

I am out here for you. You don't know what it's like to be ME out here for YOU. It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about, ok?

Help Me...Help You.

b.

Rod Tidwell: It's a very personal, a very important thing. Hell, it's a family motto. Are you ready, Jerry?

Jerry Maguire: I'm ready.

Rod Tidwell: I wanna make sure you're ready, brother. Here it is: Show me the money. Oh-ho-ho! SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! A-ha-ha! Jerry, doesn't it make you feel good just to say that! Say it with me one time, Jerry.

Jerry Maguire: Show you the money.

Rod Tidwell: Oh, no, no. You can do better than that, Jerry! I want you to say it with you, with meaning, brother! Hey, I got Bob Sugar on the other line; I bet you he can say it!

Jerry Maguire: Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. Show you the money.

Rod Tidwell: No! Not show you! Show me the money!

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

5. Apocalypse Now

Kilgore: I love the smell of Napalm in the morning.

6. A Few Good Men

Col. Jessop: You Can't Handle The truth...Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg (teehee)? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

7. Philadelphia

Andrew Beckett: Excuse me, Am I being fired?

8. American Gangster

Frank Lucas: You'll take them too?...shit you don't want them you want Police, you want police? You want your own kind!

Detective Roberts: They're not my kind. They're in business with you Frank they ain't my kind. They ain't my kind just like the Italians are not yours.

Frank Lucas: My Man.

9. The Godfather

Michael Corleone: Today I settle all family business so don't tell me your innocent Carlo.

10. 12 Angry Men

Juror: Well, I'm not used to supposin'. I'm just a workin' man. My boss does all the supposin' - but I'll try one. Supposin' you talk us all out of this and, uh, the kid really did knife his father?

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Here I go tagging 5 buddies:

Atul

Saumya

Jeeta

Rohit

Dubez

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(double-check)

(phew)

Chance pe Dance : Reviewed

Ahhhhh. Finally, I thought this might just be a movie so bad that it's good. All I was looking for, was one glimmer of hope, one tiny sparkle that would make me say 'Okay, I can still watch bollywood movies', but Nooo !! This movie is a pain.
It's too bad to be a Luck By Chance, too good to be a Gunda, but I think you're just right for Amul Chocolate. This movie however, isn't.

Chapter 1: GENELIA.
Okay tell me seriously....what the hell is up with Genelia? Why exactly is she liked by even one human being? She can't act to save her life. People were ga-ga over her after Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, but come on, seriously...was she any good? No seriously....was she? I remember her from one of my all time favourite movies. My very first movie in Bhubaneswar. A movie that was going to set the tone of my engineering in that wonderful wonderful paradise of a place. A mind boggling romance Starring Riteish Deshmukh and She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, called 'Tujhe Meri Kasam'. I think that movie broke all box office records....of Maharaja Cinema Hall Acharya Vihar.
She squeaks rather than talk, gawks rather than look, can't dance worth peanuts. Picture the scene with Shahid scratching the chalk board with his nails to stop the children from screaming. Now magnify that 2 min scene to 3 hours. That, my dear readers, is what Genelia's voice and accent in that 3 hour God Forsaken movie did for me. I hate female Genelia. There, I said it. And I know you do too, you're just confusing it with another similar sounding word from your class nine biology books aint'cha? Naughty naughty.

Chapter 2: SHAHID.
As my friend Avinash Patel puts it, we have always had problems with Guys who are girls' heartthrobs. I think that is one big reason we never got around to liking Shahrukh Khan. But trust me when I say this, that is not the reason I dislike Shahid Kapur. This is so not the right role for Shahid. I mean come on, are you seriously saying that bollywood came up with a dance movie, and the guy dancing is Shahid? He's no Patrick Swayze ladies and gentlemen. I mean even Shahrukh did a better job with his Hawa mein aath banana, le ban gaya step soniya, tu ban gaya HEP soniya. (A song ironically called Dance pe Chance).

The movie has everything. Despair, Love, Humour, Mumbai, Struggle, Victory, Entertainment etc. And it gives you everything. Nausea, Spondilytis, Diarrhea, Mumbai, BO, Arthritis, Diabetes etc.

Chapter 3: SCHOOL OF ROCK INSPIRED??
So much potential the movie had. Alas, the guys had to waste more footage on how Shahid washed his clothes in the school loo, rather than focus on the children practicing for the dance competition. Such a waste. And those totally non-cute kids won with that shabby dance? Why? Because Shahid made a determined face? Because Genelia prayed so convincingly? Because Stone Cold Said So?
Again, this movie is no School of Rock. It's no School of Dance. Its not even a bloody IIPM School of Management.
If you want to see a 2 hour movie shrunk effectively as a movie side plot, I suggest you watch 'The Apartment' starring Jack Lemmon and Shirley McLaine. And then watch Sharman Joshi's subplot in Life in a Metro. And be amazed.

Chapter 4: Cliches Wide Open.
Right from the dagabaaz friend (played by none other than the world famous in gajapatanagar Vikas Bhalla, with such amazing song hits to his name as Hai Dhuan Hai Dhuan and Awara), the baap in trouble, the struggling actor, the rags to riches story, the girl, the rain, the touchy feely in the car, the kids pooling in the tiffins, winning the dance... the only thing they missed out was Shahid being shot by the kid (who used to be cute some tv ads ago) for bhiolating his sister Genelia, but still dancing and landing the role, and dying a year later upon getting out of the car (hence the term Red Carpet....har har har.) Faarmula Pikchur.

Chapter 5: The Parsi Landlord.

If I see one more of these, I'm gonna kill myself. And why is it the same guy playing a Parsi everytime man? Even I can say 'Ae iss maheena ka bhada de de ne dikra' in a funny accent. But no, I am mistaken. This wasn't the cliched landlord. No No No. There was a twist. I don't know if you noticed the slight nuance. This once, had a body itch that wouldn't go away!! Marvellous. The vagaries of Indian Cinema.
Can someone else apart from Kurush Deboo please play a Parsi?
Can Kurush Deboo please play something other than a Parsi?

Chapter 6: TheMuzeek.
I really don't need to write anything here. I am yet to think of anyone who could have done a worse job than Adnan Sami has on this filthy piece of Garbage.

The one and only good part of the Movie. Satish Shah. Truly funny in the entirety of 5 mins that he has on screen. I'd so rather watch him as a corpse dressed as Draupadi though. But I jest you not, I was actually lol-ing when Satish delivered his lines...to perfection.

You guys must watch this movie. Just to realise what toxic waste we are exposed to nowadays going by the name of mainstream Hindi Cinema.

An excerpt from Wikipedia:
Katrina Kaif was rumoured to be Shahid’s co-star but the makers eventually chose Jiah Khan. She shot for the film but was asked to leave halfway through. Reportedly, she got over-friendly with Shahid Kapoor and was not doing her job well. She was replaced by Genelia D'Souza who shot her scenes in a whirlwind schedule.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Jao be, dekh ke aao pikchur jab tak hall mein lagi hai. Iska DVD to moser baer bhi nahi nikalegi, aur na hi tumhare ghar ke bagal wala C.D. Corner.