I just wanna feel, real love

Life goes on, as it never ends. Time flies by, and all of a sudden you realise, dude!!! you're giving you're mid sems now. So half of your final sem is over. Like bhai always puts it , just an 'r' away from becoming an enginee* !!! By the by, our final sem dates are out, and we start with our exams on the 24th of april, sure to finish by the first week of may. A month and a half to go.WOW!!!
Last week was oscar fever.
Good Night and Good Luck: Great movie...performances were okay...real footage of Joe McCarthy is the reason u shud see this movie. U'll see media with a new respect.
Munich: Steven Spielberg does it again. An on the edge movie based on one of the most shameful acts of barbarism in olympics and sporting history. Eric Bana plays a wonderful role, watch out for the scene when he talks to his baby girl.
Crash: Wow...just wow!!! Anything I write about this movie, would be a spoiler. A must see. Academy people know what they are doing.

Today, for the first time, i was complimented for my blog. It was a tremendous feeling.
And i realised how a compliment can make your day. Everything just went right from there.This was soon followed by appreciation handed out by none other than bhai himself... now isn't that something?? Also...keeping up with current affairs...the company i'm gonna work for came to college today and picked some 123 students from the 2007 batch. Wow...does it have an office comprising entirely of benches?? ;)

Well here is a something special that i have wanted to write for a very long time. I dedicate this blog entry to one of my best friends here and pseudo roommate. He is the inspiration for this blog...and for much more.
http://rohitx.blogspot.com
We make extensive plans for our lives. He says he's gonna retire early, sit in a Lazy-boy E-cliner 3000 presented by me as a marriage gift and write a book. Well i hope for a lot of that to come true. 1. I hope he gets married to the one he's dedicated his blog to. 2. I hope i can one day earn enough to hand out lazyboy chairs (joey and chandler chairs...for the uninitiated) as wedding gifts. 3. Above all else, i hope he writes that book. This just to let him know that he'll find me at the top of the list of takers.
He definitely touches a nerve by his "keep talking" post. I personally feel its raw,unadultrated truth and holds a special meaning for me beacuse i treasure conversations. I love talking, listening, observing, commenting, rambling, ranting, in essence doing exactly what defines a homo sapien, the ability to communicate.

Just to add to the list of human instincts,i have one which i'm sure is shared by millions. By everybody around me and everybody around you.

One of my most natural instincts is to love and the need to be loved.

Love of somebody who makes you want to feel better. That somebody who defines you, who understands you. You get the urge to redefine the world when you are with her. Someone who governs your thought processes, and your decisions. Someone around who, at least in your dreams, your future revolves. Its incredible to have that someone in my life. To have something so beautiful, who reciprocates in a way that makes you love yourself. It requires patience and understanding to make a relationship work, and i'm lucky to have found someone who has both. And i get the strongest need to be loved by her. To get appreciation, adoration and applause from her. Because when i do, I feel like a super-hero. And even today...the sound of her voice makes me feel like a 15 year old boy, holding a grey coloured telephone, nervously dialling a number, hoping its her who picks up. To see the look on her face when i give her a gift. Even today, when i meet her, I feel like a 17 year old boy, climbing the steps to the third floor, knocking, fully knowing that i'm late and having an excuse ready at hand.Even today when i listen to the song "the best of me" , i am immediately transported to an evening in my living room, with this song playing, and with her sittin across the table, us having just returned from our day out on the road making paper boats and racing them. Getting ready to meet her is still accompanied by total restlessness, an absolute lack of appetite,frantic attempts to make my hair look a little stylish. I dont know where our lives are taking us, but right now, I am happy to dream, happy to be in love.

Love of family....love of a mom who gives you your identity. Of a mom who knows you inside out. Who will always find out where you've been. Who will always know what's troubling you. Who will confront you by trying to talk about exactly what's bothering you followed by your frantic efforts to deny it. Who will always take your side, even though she may regret it later. Who will sacrifice her life, so you can have one. This woman is the one who loves you more than you love yourself. I take my mom's love for granted. I have a right to, i feel at times. Love of a dad, who sees himself in you. Who gets angry when you do things which are even slightly illogical. Someone who knows more than you, believe me. Who will love you so unconditionally that at one point of time, U'll be to him what he always wanted to be.Love of a brother, who'll think you're his responsibility. I idolize him to the point of hero-worship. When someone says i look like him, it fills me with an odd sense of pleasure. he is someone who always teaches you to be a thinker, to have a sound mind, to learn to do the right thing, and all this without an explicit instruction. who makes you feel proud of yourself when he says I'm matured beyond my years. I know he doesn't like rap, but i just wanna say i wanna be just like him, cuss like him, dress like him, walk talk and act like him, i just might be the next best thing, but not quite him.Love of a sister, who makes you want to be a kid all your life. Who values your opinion. Who cries her eyes out when you burn yourself in an accident. Someone who always wants to take you under her wings. She wants you to fly AND she might let you sing. A family's which is gonna keep baby, cozy and warm.

I'll keep the love of friends for subsequent posts.

What i want to let people know is that i feel love is the most beautiful, fulfilling sensation known to man. Its amazing to realise that the hunger for love can be satiated, but its magnitude can never be determined. I can accomodate millions in this puny heart and soul of mine, and i want to make love the sole reason of my existence. It defines who i am. I am a guy who loves appreciation, who would like nothing better than people registering surprise at my failures, nothing would inflate the bubble more than being loved, respected and recognised as an individual. These make me human. These needs and urges make me the pinnacle of evolution.
I believe in passion.
Finally, i believe in the adage "if you love someone, show it !!" I like nothing better than a hug. I am a firm believer in Physical manifestation of love. Nothing motivates like love can. I have all the love in the world to give. And my daily prayer to God would be only to give me too much love, running through my veins.....

And I say to myself, what a wonderful world....

Well what a week....went to college everyday...we now have a 5 day long break for holi.
No grand plans this time. Plz understand what grand plans are.
My cousin bro...saumya...just suggested that my blog shud have sumthing like a countdown to passing out...well it was touchy to see him pass on his own passing out plans to me...lets c what we can do.
Okay as of now we dont know our exact pass-out dates...so lemme kick off the countdown to dday as
2 months to go:
Tell u the truth...i cant wait to leave. To cross the border of studenthood and join the corporate world. As of now, totally concentrating on cramming as many movies as i can in the time that we have left. Our lan never showed so much activity before...with people sharing movies like maniacs.3 good movies in the last 24 hrs.
iqbal: very very nagesh kukunoor. Still amazed by the cast choices.Amazing stuff.
1947 earth: after having hummed "rut aa gayi re" for ages...finally saw the movie...another side of aamir khan...mind blowing.
Bhopal express: ohhhh gawd....kay kay, naseeruddin shah....geniuses.sheer brilliance.

Also am gonna start collecting truckloads of data...with soon go on a dvd burning spree.
Finally hit us today...that within a month...we will be thru with our grand viva, our project submission, our sessionals....and surely...one by one...our 8th sem papers.
I look around and see the sheer plethora of people...young minds thinking @ 10 thoughts per nanosecond. I look at our hangouts, the canteen steps, the juice shop, Mohanty Babu, Udupi, Madhuban, KIIT, hostel, terrace, mess............And i say to myself...........

Caught red handed showing feelings of an almost human nature

Had a couple of nice conversations today. The last line was " U know its been such a long time since we sat and had a talk like this...". And all i could mutter was "yeah, long time".
today there was an incident which was, to say the least, breathtaking. While the show was on today,we guys were in the basketball court and there was a power cut. It went pitch black. All one could see was the starts and silhouettes of people. I quote "sometimes there is so much beauty in this world, i feel i can't take it." It was so beautiful out there. I guess i really am the romantic types.
Today, if i had enuff balance, i would have called every number on my contact list.
There is so much going on around me. I can see all those around me turning into adults. I had always thought financial independence is a wonderful thing but i realise it comes at a price. I can see people losing sleep over their future. I'm among them. Everybody wants to be successful. Wants to be happy doing what they are doing. I can see them scared, not knowing what life has in store for them. me? i'm scared out of my wits.I realise now that we are probably undergoing the shawshank redemption syndrome. We are probably institutionalised. In the college we are a part of a gang. I guess we are all scared of being on our own....in a dog eat dog world. What i'm sure about is that sooner or later...its gonna hit everyone here. Some are in a state of denial. Others....like me, are fighting an unseen war. I guess we'll be fine. I'm the optimist here. I have a vision of the future, when we are working in the same city, but different companies, and we meet up after work and discuss our jobs....what a delighful conversation that's gonna be. I guess its gonna happen someday.
There are people who talk of being self-made....who have made it on their own with sheer grit and determination.me? i'm believe in God. And i love what He has to say to such people..." So u say ur self made??? Hey, I distinctly remember creating you !!!"
I guess I'm just too confused, too tired to think straight.